Self Love and Care (First Person)

Before I went into societies look on loving one’s self I wanted to first tackle a very personal approach to the matter. This series that really has been something that God has been dealing with me on gradually for about two years. The questions I want to answer in this series are
 
1) Do I love myself 2) How do I love Myself 3) Why Should I love myself.

Reason being is this are things that I have found myself asking.
I found them fairly hard to answer for a while because I would confuse what the expected answer was with my actual answer.
Everyone has a different way as to facing and overcoming their own setbacks and such. My way may not be your way, but it is my prayer that I may inspire you to find it. With that being said, let’s jump right into my journey. Does Whitney love herself?
If I’m being totally honest, for a long time I never dealt with the fact that I actually hated myself let alone didn’t love myself. My story is on going with SB with physical and mental scars that caused me to think oftentimes still think less of myself. There has been levels to it as I have grown as an individual. I do feel it has reached it’s peak this year the more I realized I am becoming an adult. The weirdest thing is it really hit me when I became familiar with the play The Glass Menagerie and the character Laura Wingfeild I saw myself in her.
That was when I accepted that I had to go beyond looking strong and actually start look myself and my demons in the face and build strength. I feel like some individuals have been blindsided by the external side of loving yourself and all ” Love yourself girl or no one else will ” captions and self gratification from word of mouth. This should never be our mindset. It should never be about getting cause no one else will give because that’s a fear. Its not about loving yourself because that one guy or girl won’t because you ultimately destroy your outlook on life. If the whole world hates us He is more. Them (enemies) should never be part of this particular equation as to why we press to love inward. It was for me a huge lack of facing those issues of low elf esteem. Inferiority Complex and etc. So when I did realize that I  was not dealing I went “Selfie-less’. I took down all of my pictures on social media and I realized how I felt about myself. ( This was necessary because I was insecure of my stature with SB.

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This picture was on my nineteenth birthday before the whole selfie-less thing where I felt that if I took if I posted pictures with my crooked feet and muscly arms and the rest of my insecurities they’d go away without me actually dealing with them. It’s kind of like saying OMG pray for me when you don’t believe God for yourself. It’s fine and dandy to have people call me beautiful and say I’ll be a blessing to some lucky man and Oh Whitney you’re so strong but It never left the surface.  In the survey I sent out I asked if individuals had been in love ever because often after rejection these type of things are magnified in our minds.  We have to deal with ourselves. I remember when I loved this one Eminem song called “Hailie’s song. One particular part was where he said he acted like thing didn’t phase him but in reality they drove him crazy, he went on to say his insecurities could eat him alive. Now I don’t know what that mean for him but looking back on feeling that same way they were eating at me because I was ignoring there existence.
I’ve had a relationship with God from a young age. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by knowledge, but sometimes our processes take longer and that is okay. And So I realized that in order for me to be of real assistance to anyone I had to seek God for my own help first.
The greatest Commandment is to love God with all of our heart mind an soul and the second is to love our neighbor as ourselves, but how if we don’t love ourselves to begin with.
Which brings us to our conclusion for this intro to the series Why Love myself.  Loving ones self is not for selfish reasons. It is to be able to love the brethren affectively. How can we minister to others if we do not trust God’s hand in our lives. My prayer is that this series provokes us to explore our minds and realize there is nothing wrong with God’s will. We were not dealt a bad hand, we were merely dealt our hand.

He Is My Crutch

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