In the last post to this series I shared a little of my own personal first person experience with our topic which is self love or self care which I believe to be one in the same. Self care can be defined as the maintenance  of  one’s own well being.

I would like to propose the idea that loving one’s self can be proven evident by self care. I did not want to start this series with a large amount of  ideas and theories that will not apply to everyone. Hopefully you see my pattern of first, second, and third person to tackle this topic.  Self care is learned, purposeful, and continuous or ongoing.

There are also a few ways in which the idea is falsely defined in the minds of individuals I want to touch on. One being that this is something those of both female and male species should take heed to.  Through observation one thing that I have gathered is that males are not likely to be taught “self worth” as intimately as women are. In fact men still get the famous  stereotypical “men ain’t supposed to cry” line all of the time. Men are taught how to get money and all the honies  and for a lot of you after that you’re on your own. There are some great parents out there who teach their sons to respect women. My question is what about how to treat ones self?  Men are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than women are according to statistics in the past few years. There is another stereotype that says men are not emotional creatures and women are. (“men are from mars, and women are from venus.”) However this is not entirely true for most.  As previously stated, in the male intellect certain emotions were made red zones at young ages. This does not leave them emotionless, more like it makes their emotions work differently. Men are more likely to suppress their emotions as a result of the previous statements, and that does not make their emotions non existent at all.

So what does this have to do with Self Love? well, If Sammy ever discovered that he suppressed emotions that do not always call for suppression then he just may work on it and as  result build a better life for himself. I am in no way labeling any male as one who suppresses his emotion. I am simply giving wfyou males who may read this piece something to think on. I am not a male and therefore will never be able to do such a thing, and even so each individual is his or her own even if the same gender which is all the more reason for self discovery and care. Before I expound further on female  statistics and “Sally” I’d like for readers to note that I am not promoting selfish behavior of any kind.  That is not what  self love is about. There is a happy balance that should be had in loving one’s self and that of another. I also want to make it clear that the differences in male and female tendencies were created to be what they are, and that is different. We are made to complement one another and part  being able to do that is being able  to understand one’s self. We as a people have tools in which we are not able to use properly even within ourselves due to lack of understanding. Therefore my proposal of self love and care is not as much to undo as it is to rearrange thought patterns as well as bring clarity.

With that being said, let us deal with general ideas of women in today’s society. I would like to propose the idea that the art of true womanhood has lost it’s originality in today’s society. I want to go passed the cliche of men being the reason for all of our problems. One man in particular may have brought some friction to our hearts, even more than one, I am not denying that, however that is not the root I want to pick at alone.  I want go back to emotions. and the stereotype of us women being more emotional than men. We  previously addressed the idea that we are not as much more emotional than men as we are more so different in our expression of emotions.   Women in the passed were given more encouragement to be self expressive because we are women which is why a lot of society connects emotion and expression to females.  Notice the lack of balance given to both sexes in society. Today, there are some women and men who have closed up their emotions all together and gone “cold hearted” because of this lack of balance as well as males who have chosen to go against the grain. Those men who said , ” I wanna be different” but got hurt and went to the “dark” side.  There are those women who had a pure heart to love other people and got hurt by some friends who turned away, and still suffered through it until one day she decided the last event that hurt her was the last straw.  The “Out of sight out mind” theory comes into play between sexes. We often assume a male doesn’t feel what we may because he may not be as eager to express it.  Just the same as most of us feel that men should be more expressive there are points we should have more of a balance on as well in their opinion I am quite sure of it. By that example of hurt and choosing to begin to walk in a numbness happens to both sexes. I want to keep it noted that this is not just about romantic relationships. According to studies attachment in a romantic relationship can be foretold in a child’s attachment to a parent.

One thing I had to learn is to emotional not so much emotionally driven. I have had to learn not to act on impulse and it’s an everyday thing. . I don’t want to keep it all in the light of romantic relationship alone but even those that are platonic as well such as friendships, siblings, and even parent and child relationships. There is a new logo in society . we say. “everybody be in they feelings”. Some even curse feelings, not because of the feelings themselves but because of the lack of understanding as to steering the wheel of feelings’ car in a sense.  A lot of times our feelings are reactions to events in our lives and in order to function properly you have to deal with those ways of reaction. ” Sometimes our actions are not rational or realistic because of selfishness and that is why I stress that self love is not selfishness. Self love evaluates  the outcome because it has affects on the future. How do you express yourself? is it in a healthy manner?

We all as human beings have a need to be heard and to express and a lot of us use social networks, and friends to talk to in order to cope with life, and this it is great to have a support system. However, there is a point in life where one must find go onto perfection, and the word perfection means noting but maturity. This is not to say “forget everyone and  everybody always does me dirty”. Instead, this is accepting responsibility for ourselves and holding others reinforcement of me being a good person or their support as secondary to where it is not something that makes or breaks you.

PictureHave you ever been in a situation where you felt literally no one could say anything, and no wise words could give you a pick me up? It is a scary position that I know all too well. We should never fall into a dependence on motivation from others. Reinforcement is great to have at times do not get me wrong.  However, we have  to question that if we do not have the will to go on our own how will we be leaders in society homes churches or whatever the case may be? No one else can take us to Heaven. We have to work out our own salvation will fear and trembling. I Choose Life Now will not do a thing for any member who does not seek God for their own motivation to stay in the race. I pray that this piece has pricked the hearts of readers. I also don’t want to  bring it to a close without stating that it is an everyday die. Self Love is not an overnight thing, and I don’t want to make it seem as such. I want to invite you toward a new light of the royal priesthood that God has called us to and as priests, not just Kings and Queens carelessly on a throne, but at work sending up supplications for God’s likeness and intercessions for others. We Will get into that on next time. Thank you all for reading.


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  1. Sarah-Louise Bailey on February 1, 2017 at 2:24 pm

    It is so bluntly true that you have to respect and love yourself first before you can truly love others. Learn to forgive yourself. Analyze what you needed and wanted and give yourself a treat. Sometimes you just have to pamper yourself from the everyday stress the world had given you.

  2. Author Brandi Kennedy on February 1, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    This was a great post and I also enjoyed the first post in this series. I always love seeing posts about self love and acceptance, especially in regard to our mental wellness, etc., so I’m curious to see where you take the series of posts as it goes on, and how it will all wrap up together.

  3. Emma white on February 2, 2017 at 1:46 pm

    Self care is something i often struggle with, putting others care infront of my own but iam learning to care more about myself. Thankyou for sharing!

    • whitneyann on February 2, 2017 at 5:43 pm

      we are al learning. Great! You’re welcome!

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